I'm fully joy into the OCC Club!
Pam took this piccie of me yesterday at SnB and it's the biggest smile I've had in a long time.
All my knitty/Ravelry friends have been awesomely supportive and kind and I will follow up soon... thank you ladies & gents for being there for me.
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
... now where's that sandwich?
Oh, here it is:
This is weird trying to get used to a "normal" schedule, but I need to earn more $ True I am now earning about the same hourly rate if you factor in all the hours I was working, but I'm at 35-40 instead of 80.
I'm also seemingly getting fluffier since I'm not running back and forth 10-14 hrs a day. All that weight I took off in the last year... This concerns me slightly since it's only been 2 weeks since I left the restaurants. I'm eating more carbs and eating 2x a day now instead of one time... hmmmm. I mean, not horrendously fat or anything like that, but my super baggy clothes are only baggy now hahahaha, and I can tell the difference.
Ack, I also just heard on a health report on the local news that Asian & Hispanic women over 30 have a higher incidence of developing diabetes directly related to the proportion of white rice they consume. Something about the sugar content. *grumble* Cut back on rice?
I also found the cutest pattern for Hello Kitty-themed dishcloths. Yay!
49/50: Stuck in an elevator with Patrick Roy
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