> ---Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
> other: "Does this Taste funny to you?"
>
> ---An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The
> kids were nothing to look at either.
>
> ---I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other
> day but I couldn't find any. ---What do you call a
> fish with no eyes? A fsh.
>
> ---Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar
> tender here?"
>
> BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE!! Here are the 10 first place
> winners in the International Pun Contest:
>
> 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
> raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm
> sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
>
> 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns
> to the other and says "Dam!".
>
> 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they
> lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank,
> proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
> heat it too.
>
> 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my
> electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first
> replies "Yes, I'm positive."
>
> 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused
> Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend
> dental medication.
>
> 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
> and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
> tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
> came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
> "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because",
> he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
> foyer."
>
> 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
> One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named
> "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they
> name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
> himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
> picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
> also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
> "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
> Ahmal."
>
> 8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments,
> so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
> Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of
> God, a rival florist across town thought the
> competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to
> close down, but they would not. He went back and
> begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
> rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and
> most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
> Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
> saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
> Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh
> can prevent florist friars.
>
> 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most
> of the time, which produced an impressive set of
> calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which
> made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
> suffered from bad breath. This made him..... A super
> calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
>
> 10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten
> different puns to his friends, with the hope that at
> least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in
> ten did.