I has a flavor... sometimes.Okay so I am a sporadic blogger. I get emails from my friends - both cyber & IRL - asking about my life and usually I have the same stock answer... I work too much, have next to no free time and if I'm not sick on my way to the dr. I usually have some other kind of issue or ailment. I also get emails and text messages asking if I'm "still alive".
It's actually quite sad, because my life is no longer interesting. And I still feel badly for being just plain ill for John's birthday, even though there was nothing I could have done about it.
I have beautiful stash that I don't get to play with. I have friends that I rarely get to see and I am afraid to make plans outside of work because frequently, work is the monkey wrench that throws me off balance. My husband is frustrated because we hardly get to see each other (he works a set schedule in a job he loves and is really good at... lucky him) I look forward to the days when I can sleep past 7 am. I have to make a daily decision of whether I want to knit, catch up on email and internet time, sleep, or spend time with cat and DH. This does not include time needed to balance my checkbook & pay bills, wash clothes, or eat. (Lack of eating is usually because I'm too tired, but lately it's feeling like a budget crunch too - much less eating out these days, which was my quality time with the hubby but we just plain can't afford it for now) I'm happy if I can do any 1 or 2 of the described activities on a day that I've worked no less than 11-12 hrs.
My base salary now is more than what I made at my previous career, but I've lost my extra income from bonuses & commissions, and working a regular 2nd/3rd job a few hours a week. Oh sure, there are bonus incentives on the table for me, but the situation is such that achieving bonus is near-impossible at this point... too many variables that I cannot control. So overall my discretionary income (savings, shopping, NASCAR, etc.) has disappeared and I don't know how to re-coup any of it since my present career takes up ALL of my time. I couldn't work a 2nd/3rd job on a regular basis even if I wanted to right now. It's depressing, because I can't RAK or buy awesome gifts like I used to, much less keep ahead of the day-to-day expenses. I have to turn down invites to go places with friends because I really can't afford the time off or the costs. I even played with the idea of putting my whole yarn & craft stash up on eBay again, one shot, to see what I can get for it and maybe pay off some bills and put $ back into the rainy day fund. I mean, I'm not getting to spend any time with all this gorgeous yarn and crafty stuff these days...so why not?
OMG I really sound like I'm whining again, don't I? I'll stop. I didn't want you to come here and be dragged down by my issues. I need to figure out a new course of action, because I can't keep up this pace.
On to more fun things.
Ravelry is great. I've taken a bit of my internet time daily since joining to try and add/organize things in my notebook, Flickr, and assorted sections. Jess & Casey have done an amazing job so far, and I applaud them. I wish we had the moxie and means to be able to quit our day jobs and run a fab community like Ravelry. I thank my homegirls Pam & Cristi for introducing me to it.
Speaking of Pam -- she's the ultimate Harry Potter fan, I swear. Not in the manner that she gets dressed up in Hogwarts robes and all that, but in the fact that her stakeout at B&N and marathon reading session, after her amazing Molly Weasley FO adventure... it's all fantastic. And Kris is the ultimate supportive husband LOL. I'm still waiting for his finished product on a photo shoot he did for me last month but I know he's super-busy with his own job & life so I'm not hassling anyone about it. Amazing, fabulous people those two are and I'm glad they are my friends.
Some more friends of mine just bought a house in Las Vegas. They will be moving out west from NJ sometime at the end of the year to get away from metro East Coast chaos and live in the desert, in the shadows of neon and casinos LOL Good for them. I'm glad more people are daring to dream of a different life.
Maybe I can go to Canada and become one of those truckers who haul supplies across the Northwest Territories lakes and ice tundras - you can make up to $80K in 3 months during the season, depending on the size & hazard level of your freight haul. I almost considered it back in the early 90's, but then chose a different career vocation. Seriously.
I also thought about going back to school. Dr. Roxy, how does that sound? LOL WHo knows. (I am just typing in stream-of-consciousness right now, just because.) I'd be one old-ass freshman that's for sure. Wouldn't it be funny if my boss has found my blogs? (Not really.) I mean I'm not disclosing any personally identifiable shit right? Nor am I slamming anyone, anything that could cause problems down the road related to the job... ah, I'm so tired my eyes hurt.
I am going to make a cup of tea, knit a few rounds on my sockysock and tuck in for sleeps. Maybe I will feel better in the morning.. all I know is I wish this latest bout of ickyness would just get done and be gone...
crappers. I'm sorry things have been poopy for you lately. tired, sick and broke. I know some of those too. Maybe a major career change is in store for you. But then you might have to quit to chase that dream. It sucks. DON'T Sell your stash. One day things WILL turn around and you'll regret it. Maybe SOME, but not all..
i'm sending you my best bowl of pho and our freezer stash of banh la (home cooked is better than eating out, and you can still share with John!) and lots of kisses and hugs and good vibes. i know things will look up very soon.
Welcome to my blog - all knitting, all cats, all the time ...come in, get warm and share your thoughts and pics --- it's all good! Mewsings, scratchings, and a long nap in the sun....